I've had one of those moments when the sight of my written name seems unfamiliar to me just now. I wonder what happens in those moments. Did my path suddenly cross with a parallel existence, an out of body experience, or did I just momentarily loose myself. Perhaps my identity seems strange because my future is unwritten right now. I really don't know what the coming year will bring and it's been a long time since things have been this uncertain. I'm not scared because I know all outcomes will bring good and bad, although in unknown amounts of each. But I think that somehow it all evens out in the end anyway. When the burden of hardship is heavy, the good (even when it is little) seems all that much greater. So although the future is foggy, it also carries brightness, and I welcome it.
I wonder what part of me always turns to lists to rationalize my thoughts. From the simple to do and grocery lists, to the weightier pro/con lists pitting college against university and career move against volunteer work, over the years I've quelled many a scattered nerves with a few scratches of pencil on paper. I guess it has something to do with having visual, tactile proof of my issues there in front of me that makes me more likely to act instead of just brushing aside thoughts and feel... Continue reading...
A Chinese cricket has taken up permanent residence in my ear.
I noticed this while flying home from China, when for about the fiftieth time that entire flight, I attempted to put myself in a position in which I could get more than five minutes of restless sleep. I tried more positions than can be found in the Kama Sutra, but the only one that offered the slightest bit of comfort was what I came to call "the petrified tortoise".
Emulating the animal for which the position gets its name... Continue reading...
I realize this blog may not be read by too many people, and it will be infinitely less interesting than the blog describing my travels, however I think it's pretty necessary, considering I may self-destruct if I don't have a place to write. And, yes, I will eventually post all of the lost blogs I wrote on the other half of my China tour but couldn't post because I had difficulty finding a stable Internet connection. But, for now I'll just write a bit.
